I Could Be A Basement Dweller

Wait, before you read this, have you read ‘One Hundred Homes’

Xena made her way through what felt like the millionth condo she and her father had seen that day. At this point, she was having a strong sense of deja-vu; It was almost as if Mark, her realtor, was taking her to see the same condos over and over again, only in different parts of the city. 


As she and her father walked through the unit, she tried not to make it too obvious that she wasn’t impressed. All the condos that she’d seen thus far were too much; too flashy, too ‘look at me, I’m rich and important.’ Xena wasn’t into flash and couldn’t care less about shit like amenities or walkability; she had a car and a gym membership for things like that. What Xena wanted was a home; a place where she could come back to at the end of the day, take off her pants, pour a nice glass of wine, and decompress before she went to bed and woke up to do it all over again. This place did not scream decompress. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it didn’t feel right and it was clear that Mark hadn’t been listening at all when she told him what she needed.   


Making her way into the bedroom, her and her father shared a look as Mark droned on and on about walkability and other crap Xena couldn’t care less about. At this point, she was beginning to wonder if the man even listened to her when she spoke. But then again, he did really only speak to her father. It was like her father was his client, not her. 


Making her way out of the bedroom and back into the living room, Xena thanked all things holy that this torturous tour was now over. 


“So.. what are we thinking?” Mark said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.


He made it a point to only look at her father and Xena noticed. 


Normally Mark’s unprofessional, and clearly sexist behavior, would have annoyed Xena, but at this point, she was fucking done with Mark and his small dick energy. Whipping out her phone, she let her father deal with him. 


“I think Zee and I have some things to discuss, but we have your card and we’ll be in touch.” He said.


Ahh, and that’s why Xena had brought her father along. Joesph was a businessman in every sense of the word. He made no sounds so good; so she simply sat back and let him do his work. 


After only shaking her father’s hand, the man escorted the duo back downstairs.


“Fucking asshole.” Xena muttered as they exited the building.


Her father let out a laugh as he hugged her into his side. 


“Ahh come on Xee, a little girl such as yourself couldn’t possibly be able to afford a place like this without the help of daddy’s money.” He teased.


Xena laughed, but it was true, people really thought that Joey was fitting the bill for his daughter’s lavish lifestyle. Sure, Xena’s mother and father were well off, but from a young age, her parents made sure that she understood the value of hard work. 


Joey and his wife taught their daughter to dream big and go after the things in life that she wanted. And that’s exactly what she did. She was a helper by nature and growing up around many business owners, she developed a passion for supporting people and helping them reach their goals; which is how she became a consultant. 


Shaking her head, she let out a sigh. 


“Looks like it’s back to square one.” She said.


“Aw come on honey. We’ll find you a place. Here, you drive, I’ve got a phone call to make.” He said, tossing Xena his keys.


“Hey, Andre! It’s Joey!” Xena’s father said as he ducked down into the car.


Pulling away from the curb, Xena decided to find a place to grab lunch. The father and daughter hadn’t eaten anything since Joey had picked her up around eleven this morning and it was now almost four.


Xena was clueless as to who this Andre was, but from what she could gather from her father’s conversation he either was or knew of a realtor that hopefully would actually know what the hell they were doing.


With perfect timing, Joey ended his call as Xena pulled up to the restaurant. 


“So…” She asked, staring at her father as he pocketed his phone.


“Usually Andre’s niece is booked out the ass. But, being that Andre and I are tight, I think he’ll put in a good word for us.” Joey said, holding up his crossed fingers.


Xena high-fived her father before the duo undid their seatbelts and hopped out of the car. 


 Hopefully this worked, Xena really didn’t know how many more places she could handle looking at. At this point, she was about one more shitty place away from saying fuck it and moving into her parents’ basement. 

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One response to “I Could Be A Basement Dweller”

  1. […] Wait, wait, wait, have you read ‘I Could Be A Basement Dweller‘? […]

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